I was 19 when I found MMA. After high school, I didn't really have much of a direction. My mom uprooted me from my hometown. That was a really hard adjustment. I used to be really ambitious and had big goals, but that went away, and I got really depressed. My friend who was teaching a kickboxing class asked me, "Can you make it to my class?" I never stopped training after that day and realized I wanted to make a career out of it.  At the time, women were not really on the map yet as far as MMA, but anything I am determined to accomplish, I will do whatever I need to do to get there. I was able to compete in boxing and kickboxing and then later transitioned to MMA and I went pro in 2013. My daughter was three. 

I was getting ready for a title defense, and then one day in training, I took a step at an angle to land a punch and [my ACL] just completely tore. It popped, it was a terrible noise. My doctor recommended that I use my patella tendon to graft.  I got a really big opportunity with the UFC for their Summer Contender series, and I took the fight six months post-op [and] re-injured. A couple of years later, I was working with a strength and conditioning coach, we were doing very light drills, [but] I took a little step and my knee popped and [got] locked in place. I couldn't bend it. I was in a lot of pain.  They call it a bucket handle tear when the meniscus tears flip up and get caught in your knee joint. My ACL was completely blown out again. 

I knew retirement was coming. I wanted to finish with a win. I was supposed to fight in March, then a week before I was cutting weight and doing a lot of cycling, I tore my meniscus again. It was due to overuse and thankfully it didn't need surgery. I got stem cells from one of my sponsors, which was great, but I needed to hang up the gloves. Thinking long term, I have a daughter [who] would ask me, "Can we go play volleyball? Can we go walk and get ice cream?" I want to be able to do these things without being in pain or worried that I'm going to need another surgery.  I've always wanted to get better for a competition instead of getting better for myself, for my kid, to be present, and to enjoy life with her.

The biggest thing is learning how to hone in.  I'm always busy. I find that listening to myself and to my body and not worrying about being so regimented. I learned to just let things flow or fall off. Things won't always go according to plan, no matter how bad I want them to. Stop, breathe, and recenter and reprioritize. Take one thing at a time.

My relationship with WAA began nine years ago. I was a former client in need of emergency shelter and services. I had to escape my ex and my daughter and I were homeless. We found ourselves at one of the safe havens. Through that, I took advantage of every resource possible so I could rebuild and just get through the situation in front of me. In my time at the Safe Haven, I had made a promise to myself to begin doing things for myself, the things that make me happy and bring my passions back to life. My support system in the safe haven allowed me space to give myself permission to do things [after] feeling stuck and a little bit guilty [about not having] done anything for myself in so long. I had put fighting on the back burner for a long time. When I started training again, I felt like I was taking part of my power back. Having a community of my teammates and coaches, [allowed] me to be able to push through what I was going through, especially in the family court system. I was around 90 pounds due to all the stress. I could see myself getting stronger again, my muscles coming back. Inside, something sparked in me. 

Around two years after I transitioned out of the safe haven, I brought the idea back to WAA of having a self-defense class or fitness-related workshop.  I wanted everybody else to feel what I was getting from training or just simple exercising.  At WAA, my caseworker and staff members gave me beautiful support, always encouraging me, in whatever I decided to do. A friend of mine [kept] the kids occupied so those who were parents could really take that time to focus on themselves. 

I had a woman there, I'm not sure what her story was, but you could just tell she was having a really hard time. In the middle of the class, she just started crying and kept saying, "I can't do this." But she was still punching, saying she couldn't do it. I'm like, "But you're doing it." And she's like, "No, I can't do this." I was crying with her because I couldn't help it.  I was encouraging her to keep going. And she did it and she stayed. She pushed through it. So that was a really powerful moment for everybody that day. Fighters are some of the most wholesome, kind-hearted, and compassionate people you'll ever meet.

A big class for me was between 12 to 15 people. The normal size would be 5 or 6. And sometimes I'd have nobody at all. But I would make sure I just stayed for the time I was supposed to stay, in case they would want to talk. I always let them lead. It's okay to make mistakes because the sport is always evolving. Even as a retired professional, I make mistakes in training every day. [It’s about] learning from those mistakes so you can get better, encouraging people to not feel silly when you're trying something new. We all start somewhere. Your first time doing something is never going to feel comfortable. 

We always say the mats never lie. And that's because you can't really cheat when you're on the mat. You always have to show up as your best self. Every time I would step on the mat, I had a purpose. It was never really to beat my training partners. It was just to beat myself, to do better than I did the day before to reach whatever goal I had set for myself.

[After those MMA workshops at WAA,] a lot of other doors started opening up for me. I started to see where I could put myself in certain places or positions to be able to give back or volunteer more. I traveled a few times to Harrisburg with WAA as a survivor representative. I would speak to legislators, elected officials, and state reps, and even still now I'm friends with some of them. I like building relationships because that means more places I could help people. And I learned that sharing my story was helpful, so I did that for a long time. My story over the years, I don't think it was ever really so much about my ex and what he did to me. That was always a small part of it, obviously, it has to be, [but] it's more about overcoming adversity and instilling hope in people. 

I joined the Board of Directors at WAA.  I'm actually the first person who was a former client to go on to join the board. So that was a really big accomplishment for me to share that space with so many incredible people, being able to make decisions [with] great impact. And now that I'm retired [from MMA fighting], it actually feels really good. In the fighting world, we're just always like, "All right, one more [fight]." But now it's nice to have a focus on something else, really put full attention into helping and volunteering and being an advocate.

For now, I'm still a sponge taking everything in and learning what being on the board looks like. I think it's powerful to have somebody on the board who was a former client because I have been there and lived it and went through it and came out on the other side. I do a lot of networking at events with the political world. I've been going to city council meetings and listening to the issues or new laws or policies being put in place. 

I would like to see changes in family court and educating judges more. I also want to fill in the gray areas dealing with PFAs, [which are] restraining orders, “Protection From Abuse,” and looking more on the side of prevention. I find that it's really hard to get a PFA. In my situation it was just so crucial that I got the help I needed when I needed it. And I felt like the system failed me and my daughter so many times with that.  I was documenting time stamps, [filing] police reports, and they still failed me.  With custody, it was three years [of family court]. I felt that almost every other week there was a hearing. There was even a point where I had to pay child support. I know I'm not the only one that had to endure that kind of treatment.  I didn't have any knowledge of any services or resources. I didn't know they existed until the first time I called the police when my ex had taken my daughter, and they [said] "Well, we can't do anything because he's her father." I had to do this intake and then started seeing the words "domestic violence,” and I'm like, "Oh God, this was domestic [violence.]" I didn't make that connection. I just never used that word for it. It was really kind of strange once I did. 

I didn't learn about WAA until a little bit later. The first time I called, it was such a relief to have somebody understand from a professional standpoint what I was going through and to be able to give me comfort in those moments when I needed it. I was given even more resources and it felt good because I felt like I finally had a plan of action. I started getting a clear picture of what I needed to do to get out of my situation. 

It wasn't easy because, like all resources, they're limited. So I got a lot of no's before I started getting yes's, but I was just persistent. Every day I would call the hotline. It took weeks before I could get into the safe haven. We got the call that we had a room, and then from there, it was like, "Now we're good. Now I can really fight through this." To me, it was the biggest relief because now I could rewrite my own story.  I saw it as an opportunity to grow and rebuild and to be happy for once. And we felt safe. 

I know that there are people like me who don't know, or maybe [they] just need that moment to see they're in a situation. Sharing my story [is] letting people know that they're not stuck and they don't have to fight in silence or be alone. My whole relationship I felt stuck and scared and afraid. I would just say it's okay to be scared but to take action. Do it afraid. [Be] open to what might blossom.